Thursday, July 22, 2010

day three hundred twenty-two.

Day Three Hundred Twenty-two Saturday  7/17/10
Dress:  Orangey/Pink/Peachish Slip Dress
Purchased From:  MOLLY DELANEY
Year or Era Purchased: Spring 2010
Price: $FREE

Accessories:  Squirrel necklace, black flats
Hair and Makeup:  Two low pigtails, gold and brown colored eyeshadows and usual makeup
Comments/Compliments/Complaints:  A necklace compliment, it was a gift from my friend Rica, and I don't know all of Saturday is a bit of a blur. 

I love this slip dress. It's fun, flirty and vintage and makes me feel like a classy hussy if that even exists.  It was in the bag of awesome Molly dresses- thanks again Molly! I paired it with a cute squirrel necklace and some flats because it was hot, stupid hot, as this whole summer has been.  Great summer to do a dress blog.  Ugh. 

Sooooooo yeah.  Oops. I woke up at a pretty early time for a Saturday because I had a ton of cat jobs to do over the weekend.  I headed out and completed them and then came home and read a bit in my bed.  Sue called and we decided to go to Memphis Taproom for their outdoor craft sale and for brunch.  I got a veggie burger and some weird fancy sour beer, cru something.  I was stuffed and satisfied, though I kept eyeing up the brunch tacos on the other patrons plates- next time.   After lunch we came home and I lounged around a read a bit more before heading out to do more jobs.  I got home and Michael, Steve and I biked over to Katy and Drew's to celebrate Katy's completion of her Masters degree.  She decided to throw a college themed party complete with a gin bucket, jungle juice, a beer bong and jello shots.  I didn't go to many college parties in my time because I never lived on campus and I spent my college years living in Fairmount apartments with friends.  I didn't even drink my first year of college.  The gin bucket was a foreign concept to me- apparently it's gin, fresca and a bunch of cut up fruit typically served in a bucket and consumed with a turkey baster.  Wow. The buckets at this party were rubbermaid containers filled with crazy alcoholic concoctions.  The jungle juice was grain alcohol, vodka, rum and a bunch of sweet things.  I stupidly decided to dip my red plastic cup into that particular rubber maid container.  I am not a vodka drinker.  I used to be.  I used to drink it with a swiftness but the only missing memories from my brain are those that were blackened by shots, chugs, mixed fancy drinks and canteens full of vodka.  Many years ago, maybe seven, I swore off vodka.  Since then I've been completely and totally drunk on many other libations but all the memories are there, that was until Saturday.  I decided to "When in Rome" my red plastic cup and now I'm forced to go back into vodka hiding.  

After I dipped my cup I mingled a bit, said congrats to the Master's girl, had a few vegetarian jello shots (peach schnapps and orange veggie jello that you can purchase at Whole Foods if you are so inclined) and ate a bunch of cheese balls.  That's about when I realized that I didn't really eat dinner.  Oops.  After one cup of jungle juice I was thinking really clearly and redipped my cup.  This is around the time it starts to get fuzzy.  My phone tells me I called my friend Kristin at 12:23. I sort of remember pacing up and down the street, leaving her a message.  What I don't remember is the actual message, which she reminded me of the next day.  Something about yelling that her sister named her baby Ewan and I liked that name for my non-existent baby.  What? I think Katy was leaving her messages too.  I'm not sure.  There are another ten phone calls to Kristin one hour later but they are all marked cancelled.  I'll have to inquire if any of those every went through.  I sort of remember sitting in Katy's living room and deciding that dropping a jello shot into the jungle juice wast the best idea ever, though I don't know who came up with this idea.  I think at that point I just kept swallowing the not quite congealed shots in multitude while drinking the shot/juice combo.  Apparently after this a few more hours of fun were had, though I have absolutely no recollection of any of this, except one small glimmer of memory that involves the red metal of my bike and my body being thrown upon it with the great drunken force of me falling. I wasn't even riding it. 

I have been told that I hit on my friend Katy, told her she has sexy legs, sat in her backyard for over an hour, played fruit ball and fell in the street when I swung, tried to do more jello shots and then scraped the bottom of the cups when I realized there were no more, walked my bike some of the way home while falling many times, specifically after I tried to run with my bike, fell into a newspaper box, yelled at Michael that he thinks he's so special, and then yelled that he is so stupid while he walked both of our bikes home and tried to keep me from falling, cried like a banshee, threw up, hit my head on the sink pedestal, drank water, drank emergen-c and said I wanted to go to bed, apparently around 4 am.  Hmmmm.  I woke up the next morning over the covers as I hate- wearing the dress above, my bra, and my necklace extremely confused.  I looked at my left middle finger and saw blood, I looked at the right side of my body and saw bruises, I looked at the clock and realized I had four cat jobs to do.  I asked Michael what happened and he played me an eighteen minute voice memo of me crying and throwing up.  That's what any good husband would do right? 


kristin g said...

this is amazing. I still have all the voicemails to share with you, we will have to meet up soon. maybe they'd sound better if we used your phone to listen to them, its kind of hard to hear what you're saying in some of them.

Jared said...

I regret not being able to make this night... wow.

designed by